How To Bond With Your Horse
Bonding with your animals is really no different than bonding with anyone else. It takes time, consistency, and being someone that the person or animal you’re trying to bond with can trust.
For people who are looking for clearer, more practical advice as to what exactly you should do to bond with your equid, this list is for you.
Be interested in what interests your horse.
Yes, I know how ridiculous this sounds, but you’d be surprised by how well it actually works. Whenever your equid alerts to something in the distance, look at it too. It doesn’t matter if you can’t see or hear whatever your equid sees or hears; it just matters that you’re trying to. Feel free to talk to your equid or put a hand on them while you’re both checking out the thing. Once your equid has decided that whatever the thing is isn’t an immediate threat, they’ll probably turn towards you or touch you with their nose, then be ready to return to whatever you were doing before.
What’s cool about doing this, instead of insisting that your equid always pay attention to you, is that your equid will likely get over whatever the thing was quickly, instead of constantly trying to stop and check it out for the rest of the time you’re together.
Be consistent in the way you act around your horse.
It seems like a no-brainer, but many people out there act sweet and loving one minute around their horses, then act like a crazy person the next. Most of it stems from people’s fear of their horses or the belief that they should never let their horse “get away with” anything. Because of this, whenever someone’s horse moves close to them or nudges them, they suddenly and aggressively start backing their horse up because the horse was “disrespecting” their space.
Don’t do that. Ever.
Instead, be patient and kind in all of your interactions. Animals can easily be taught boundaries without yelling, shooing them away, arm-waving, swinging a rope, or jerking on their faces. Most animals learn more when you are patient and kind than when you act rough, tough, and crazy.
Avoid micromanaging your horse.
Horses have thoughts and feelings of their own. They’re not robots. It drives me crazy to see people “correcting” their horses for every little move they make. I can’t tell you how many times I was interacting with a horse only to have the owner come and shoo them away because they thought their horse was “bothering” me. So now they’re micromanaging both of us.
Your horse needs space to just be. There’s no reason why any horse should be required to stand stock still all the time. Let them stomp a foot to get the flies off their leg. Let them scratch that itch before you make them line up at the mounting block. Wait for your horse to check out whatever has caught their attention in the distance before you continue with your ride. Give them a nice rub when they try to rub their face on you. Your time together doesn’t have to always be about you or solely on your terms. That’s a dictatorship, not a partnership.
Give your horse choices in the activities you do together.
There’s no law that states your horse has to do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it, so why not give your horse some choice? Maybe they don’t really want a bath or to come in from the pasture right now. There’s no reason why you can’t respect that sometimes and skip the bath or let them stay out for a while longer. You’d be surprised how much more willing your horse might be to do stuff when you give them choices and respect when they say no.
Be with your horse without an agenda.
Too many people only go to the barn to clean, feed, or ride, but there’s something to be said for just hanging out with your horse doing absolutely nothing. No bathing, no grooming, no hoof care, etc. Just hanging out. Get yourself a lawn chair or a blanket and go sit out in the pasture for a picnic or relax and enjoy nature while your horse grazes around you. Let them come up to you on their own terms for once instead of always going to them for something you want them to do.